Wishing Don’t Make it So, Except for Pennies

  • I wish women wouldn’t talk about their hot flashes in public. Do men announce when they have an itch?
  • My mom sent my brother with me to buy my first bra. I don’t think that’s normal.
  • A friend has told me her closets are her secret shame.
  • Every few years I crave pickle juice.
  • It was easy to write a gripping first paragraph and a killer ending to my novels. It was the 100,000 words in between that always stumped me.
  • I once sent what I thought was a private, personal email to a priest, until he used it in his sermon that Sunday.
  • As a kid, I wished the Smothers Brothers would adopt me so we could laugh together.
  • Where or where are all the missing socks???
  • Broccoli is one of my favorite foods, and wouldn’t ya know I’m not supposed to eat it.
  • I once won an answering machine contest for best female vocalist.
  • I believe in angels.
  • One time when I was so sick I thought I might die, I begged my dead parents to send me a sign of two pennies on the ground. A few days later, as I got out of my car and put my foot on the pavement, there were two pennies at my toe.

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