When I was good
You treated me bad
Now that I am bad, I fear what you’ll do to me
In the health of youth, violence and illness struck me down.
Now in old age, should I seek health again? I have no reason to believe you won’t punish me for it.
God, I want to live a full, beautiful life, with a skip in my step and a glow in my smile. I’ll wear pinafore dresses and curl my hair. I’ll forget the failures of adulthood for the innocence of childhood.
I know the dangers. Were I to regress to innocence, health, and happiness, you would hurt me again, like before.
I can only go so far with you, and I fear I’m near that point. If my life gets too good, you’ll destroy me anew.
Oh God, show me the flaws in the this formula, that I may abide in the light of life, and not in the hospice of lost souls.